If I Were A Boy
by The Frisky Firelily
Summary: Song fic about the ladies of Serenity set to Beyonce's 'If I Were A Boy'.


**TITLE: **If I Were A Boy

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine

**A/N: **Listened to Beyonce's 'If I Were a Boy'…wanted to see what the ladies of Serenity thought about it I guess. Not meant to be any kind of gender indictment, just a little doodle.

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><p><em>I if I were a boy, even just for one day…<em>

_I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go…_

He was barely awake, having tossed on the closest shirt without even smelling it first. It didn't really matter what he wore, it was just breakfast; he wasn't in any beauty contests. He ruffled his hair with one hand, drinking deep from the coffee cup in front of him. He snatched a few protein cakes, piling them on his plate and reaching for the sugar syrup Kaylee had made. He gave them a liberal dose, hoeing into them voraciously.

The Captain walked passed and he let his eyes wander, enjoying the way the shirt and suspenders clung to a lean form. When grey eyes met his he raised a brow suggestively, refusing to hide his interest. When Jayne made a crude remark he laughed; it was funny. He didn't have to act perfect, could enjoy a few moments of being human. Another swig of coffee, another protein cake.

She blinked.

Inara's hand twitched around her cup of green tea. She sipped delicately at her miso soup, careful not to disturb the sleeve of her silk robe. The emerald green contrasted perfectly with the lighter green of her satin dress. Her hair was carefully coiled in an elegant bun.

Mal grunted as he scarfed down another protein cake, grinning when Jayne's joke echoed over the table.

_Drink beer with the guys…_

When the O'Donnell brothers handed over the loot he grinned, enjoying the thrill of being paid, enjoying the heat of the planet. He adjusted the leather vest, no wandering eyes skimming over the front, no leering winks to remind him.

He looked at his Captain, who was watching the O'Donnell's carefully. Mal nodded and he leaned comfortably against the mule, taking the opportunity to spit carefully, ridding his mouth of the dust it accumulated.

He could relax here, no need to prove himself; he was just as tough, just as scary, just as badass. There was no need to stay completely stoic, no need to work as if he was made from stone just to keep their opinions of him professional.

He ran a hand through his long, curling black hair, and stopped.

Long hair…

Zoe blinked. Beside her Jayne shifted warily as the O'Donnell's grinned. Zoe let her hand trail down to her Mare's Leg, her face still and completely impassive.

Stone.

_And chase after girls…_

He adjusted his mechanic's uniform as he eyed her, walking across the bar, dark hair and clean shirt. He'd been wanting this for months, was tired of their little game.

Time to make a move.

He grinned as he stood, moving in front of her and swinging an arm around her waist. Before she could say anything he kissed her, hard, telling her everything that she did to him, everything that she made him feel. He pulled back, looking into the doctor's shocked eyes…

"Kaylee?"

Wash snapped his fingers in front of her face and she blinked. She adjusted her mechanic's uniform as Simon approached the table, carrying more beer, white shirt left untucked. He shot her a shy smile before turning to lecture River about her meal.

Kaylee sipped at her drink.

And sighed.

_If I were a boy…_

_I think I could understand…_

"She understands. She doesn't comprehend."

His blood howled as he spun and turned, relishing every moment of this violence. The dance never let up as the sparred, his opponent struggling to keep up with his frantic movements. Respect, from one weapon to another, was shining in his eyes even as he avoided the backhand.

Alpha, dominant, aggression a valued trait. He flung out a leg, kipping backwards to avoid another blow, applying training and knowledge and mathematics; boys were good at those things, boys were meant to be good at those things.

A blow landed.

"Damn girlie, pull yer gorram punches or I ain't doin' this, no matter what the Captain says."

She stood, and she could sense his frustration at being beaten once more by a skinny little girl who looked like she belonged in a music box.

_But you're just a boy…_

"Kaylee, you know I care about you…I just…I'm not used t-"

"I understand Simon, ain't nuthin' ta stress on."

_You don't understand…_

"Damnit Zo', if ya was wound any tighter you'd snap somethin'."

"Keep talkin' an' it'll be your neck, Jayne."

_How it feels to love a girl…_

"Takin' you long enough; how do Companions ever make appointments on time with all that fancifyin' they gotta do?"

_Someday you'll wish you were a better man…_

"Let's hear the part again where Jayne gets beat up by a 90lb girl."

_I'd listen to her…_

"Kaylee, my one regret in all this, is never being with you."

"You mean ta say as…sex?"

"I mean to say."

He smiled and her face became resolute. "T'hell with this, I'm gonna live."

She could feel him staring and she hid her grin.

_Cuz I know how it hurts…_

"Wash? Wash baby no!"

"You think she'll hold?"

"She's tore up plenty, but she'll fly true."

She strode away to their bunk, changing into the slinky dress she had worn to say goodbye to him, and throwing a hawaiian shirt over her shoulders. She curled up in the centre of the bed they had shared, and let the tears finally fall.

_When you lose the one you wanted cuz he's taking you for granted…_

"Ready to get back to your civilized life?"

"I…I don't know."

He turned and smiled, and she couldn't help smiling back. Her shawl slipped from her shoulders and she didn't bother adjusting it, enjoying the way his eyes held hers.

_And everything you had got destroyed…_

Mal had long since abandoned the pilot's seat, leaving her briefly alone in the bridge. Jayne entered without ceremony, plonking himself silently in the empty chair and letting his boots thunk onto the dashboard.

It was the first time he had willingly entered a room that had her inside alone.

Neither said a word to mark the momentous occasion, but a smile crossed her face as she stared out at the stars. And she knew, without looking, that one was crossing his face too.


End file.
